let's give it a whirl...

...otherwise known as my crazy attempt to make a bid for "project runway, season 10".

yes, it's a bit crazy. i am aware of that. but i am also the only one who is fully aware of how EVERY piece of clothing i look at gets a pattern and construction run down (that includes what you were wearing the last time i saw you), how my brain always goes to new designs for fabrics in my overflowing stash, and how many of my sleepless nights and free moments are filled with all things apparel.

this is not a new thing. i have been sketching clothing for as long as i can remember and even have books saved in a box from when i was in elementary and junior high.

three years ago i discovered "project runway" on netflix. INSTANTLY, i was hooked. season 5 was the first one i watched, and over the next three months i ran on my elliptical, lost 10+ pounds (from two baking and eating and rainy weather/outdoor exercise-less years in oregon), and motored through the first four seasons before beginning to watch the current season, season 6. initially, it was just my thing. then one evening andy sat down with me and watched a few episodes. from then on i wasn't supposed to watch "project runway" without him.

occasionally i was inspired to make something, but not consistently with all the other craziness in my life. most of the things i was making then were quick, uncomplicated projects: dresses for the girls, simple things for myself, stuff for the house.

last year "project runway" applications were due on tax day. at that point i knew i wasn't ready, but was intrigued by them taping through the summer. was this a do-able thing for me? if, if, IF they had the same time frame, maybe, mayBE, MAYBE i could do it.

then, andy began prompting. when could HE stay home with the kids and have ME go do design work? so, i put together a plan this fall. if the timing was the same as last year and i was ready, perhaps i would apply. thinking the process wouldn't open until late march like last year, i procrastinated. i was unmotivated. i was tired. i was...making a lot of excuses...

ash wednesday, less than a week ago, the posting went up on facebook. applications were being accepted. the deadline was the day before my birthday. i sighed...i was not ready...but i printed off the application anyway and began filling it out.

all evening it pulled on me. was it even possible for me to get everything together?

thursday, i talked to a friend who is a wonderful photographer, but also a stay-at-home homeschool momma. to my surprise she was available the next day to take pictures. so i started digging, finding things i could show. instead of going to see my beloved annie bethancourt in concert, i spent thursday night sewing new pieces to add to other things i had already created. it was incredibly exhilarating, albeit exhausting.

friday was my day to play model. the only bad thing about making things for yourself is that you end up being your own model. who did i know that is my same size who was available at a moments notice? uh, i think that leaves me. so i posed and gazed and worked it while kendra took close to 400 photos.

saturday i hit the wall. the exhaustion set in along with the overwhelming reality that i will be up against so many other designers who have been working full-time at this the whole time i have been mothering, cooking, and cleaning. by lunch time i surrendered to the emotions (and a nap) and by dinner i was feeling much better. once the kids were in bed i quickly finished draping the dress i had tried to start that morning, having the whole thing completed before 10pm. maybe, contrary to the morning's emotions, i CAN do this.

so, for all those words, i will show you a few of the pieces we photographed on friday.

 i hope to "see you on the runway." i'm putting myself out there, so i guess we will see...